When I was invited to be a guest on the podcast Awe-Inspired and Retired, it was an opportunity to delve into the topic of retirement from a different angle. During our discussion, we explored the various aspects of retirement life, from where we plan to reside to the activities we intend to engage in and the people we choose to surround ourselves with – what we referred to as the “three likes” of retirement. If you’re interested, you can check out the podcasts I participated in by clicking on the links under “Retirement Podcasts” on the blog’s right-hand side.
Towards the end of our conversation, the hosts, Caleb Miller and Riley Anderson, brought up an intriguing idea – the concept of “tribes” in retirement. Previous guests had suggested that after our professional careers and raising a family come to an end, we may need to seek out a new tribe or community to be a part of in this next chapter of our lives.
This notion of finding a new tribe got me thinking. Perhaps we all have multiple tribes in our lives, made up of various individuals who fulfill different purposes and roles. Personally, I identified with having different tribes, such as my golf buddies, fellow lifelong learners, childhood friends, couple friends with my spouse, and the extended families that come from being second spouses.
One question posed by the hosts stood out: What is the tribe that everyone desires to belong to? Is there a group or community where individuals aspire to be a part of because they perceive it as the epitome of a fulfilling and enriched life? It could be a lunch group, a church community, a theater crowd, or even a group of expats living abroad, viewed as more adventurous and exciting.
Reflecting on this question, I found myself chuckling at my response – a resounding “No.” Throughout my life, I’ve learned that the pursuit of being part of the “cool” crowd is often a misguided endeavor. The true essence of finding your tribe lies in being surrounded by individuals who share your quirks, interests, and accept you unconditionally. It’s about carving out a space for yourself among like-minded individuals who understand and appreciate you for who you are.
Rather than yearning to join a perceived “cool” tribe that may seem wealthier, more intellectual, artistic, or adventurous, it’s essential to embrace your uniqueness and individuality. Being anti-cool, as I like to label myself, means rejecting the notion of envy towards others who may appear to have a more glamorous or exciting lifestyle. The key is to cultivate a tribe that brings out the best in you and fosters genuine connections based on shared values and experiences.
In conclusion, the quest for finding your tribe in retirement isn’t about conforming to societal standards or seeking validation from external sources. It’s about embracing your authenticity, surrounding yourself with individuals who uplift and inspire you, and creating a community that reflects your true essence. So, next time you ponder about joining a new tribe, remember that the most fulfilling tribe to belong to is the one where you can be unapologetically yourself.
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