‘She doesn’t want to go to a financial advisor, or counseling etc.’: My wife won’t face our money issues. How do I get her to see the reality of our financial situation?

Hi Money Minder,

My wife is a stay-at-home mom who homeschools our kids (ages 6 and 7), and it’s tough making ends meet on just one income. I’ve suggested she find a part-time job to help out with the bills, but she refuses. I even created an Excel spreadsheet with all our fixed expenses, other costs, and my income to show her our financial situation more clearly. However, she thinks I’m controlling and mean.

After realizing we were spending more than we were earning, I had to take control of our credit cards and start giving her a set budget for groceries. This worked for a while, but she’s tired of it and wants the credit card back to overspend.

She’s not open to seeking help from a financial advisor or counselor. What should I do?

Thanks for your advice,

Response from THE MONEY MINDER:

Hello There,

I understand the predicament you are facing with your wife’s reluctance to contribute financially and the strain it has put on your family’s finances. It sounds like you have taken proactive steps by setting up an excel chart to track your expenses and income, as well as temporarily restricting access to credit cards to manage spending. Your concern for your family’s financial stability is evident in your efforts to find a solution.

Given the situation you have described, it may be beneficial to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the financial realities your family is facing. Express your concerns about the imbalance between income and expenses, and the need for both of you to work together to find a sustainable solution. Encourage her to consider exploring part-time job opportunities to help alleviate some of the financial pressure.

Additionally, seeking the guidance of a financial advisor could provide valuable insight and create a structured plan to manage your finances more effectively. A professional’s perspective may help your wife understand the seriousness of the situation and the importance of making informed financial decisions.

While it can be challenging to address these issues, approaching them with empathy, understanding, and a collaborative mindset can lead to a more constructive conversation. Ultimately, working together as a team to address your financial challenges can strengthen your relationship and set a course for financial stability in the long run.

Take care and wishing you the best of luck in navigating this challenging situation.

Farewell from THE MONEY MINDER.