‘Not even giving me the opportunity to compete for the business is even more unprofessional’: I switched lenders last minute. Am I the asshole?

So, my wife and I are on the exciting journey of buying our dream home. We decided to work with our realtor’s brother as our mortgage lender, and he initially quoted us at 7% – not the greatest deal. But hey, that’s life! Fast forward to us going under contract this week, and bam, interest rates decided to drop. Talk about perfect timing, right?

I made the bold move to ask our lender if he could hook us up with a better rate, and he came back with 6.75%. Not bad, but I decided to shop around just to see what else was out there. Lo and behold, I found someone offering us a mortgage at 5.75% – now that’s more like it! When I told our first lender about the new deal, suddenly, he could match the 5.75% offer, but his closing costs were still on the higher side. Here’s the lowdown on the email I sent him… (and his response – grab the popcorn!).

“So, after weighing our options, we’ve decided to roll with a different lender. Here’s why:

1. The new company doesn’t sell off their mortgage loans like hot cakes, which we think will work in our favor down the road when we’re thinking of refinancing.
2. Crunching the numbers, this new loan ended up being cheaper after factoring in all the escrow and fees that seemed to have magically appeared.

Just want to say a huge thanks for all your help and persistence. This ain’t personal – it’s just business, you know?

Oh, and we’re happy to leave a glowing review or fill out any surveys you send our way – just say the word.

Cheers again!”

And here’s how he responded…

“What up! I gotta admit, I’m pretty bummed about how things went down. I’ve been in your corner for months, offering advice, guidance, and being there for you every step of the way. Not getting a call from you over the past four days while you were closing the deal has left me majorly disappointed.

First off, the servicer of your mortgage has zilch impact on future refinance opportunities, no matter what anyone else says. And when a bank messes up their numbers from the get-go, it makes you wonder if they’re accurate now, right? If I hadn’t pointed out the mistake, you wouldn’t have known.

Maybe this sounds harsh, but this ain’t just business for me – it’s personal. This is how I make my bread and butter, putting in my time, energy, and know-how to help my clients. And for you to shoot me an email without even giving me a buzz to chat, not even giving me the chance to fight for the business, that hurts, man. I hope things work out for you, good luck.”

To be real, he was a bit tough to reach at times. On the flip side, the new lender hits me up every day with updates and is just an all-around better communicator, you feel me?

I kinda feel like a jerk for ditching him after months of “working together,” but this is a major purchase and I gotta do what feels right for us. Was skippin’ the chat with him a jerk move?