Hi Moving Diaries,
So, get this – my mom has been living in my townhouse for a couple of years now. She’s retired and always talking about her fixed income. She’s been on the edge, balancing between paying rent and getting groceries. But get this – she doesn’t pay me any rent at all. All she does is clean up. Meanwhile, I’m the one shelling out for food, utilities, you name it. I never asked her for money because I thought she was broke and would leave everything to me in her will.
Then, a few months back, my brother and his wife go and buy this $750K mansion. They only put down 17%. Let’s be real, neither of them had that kind of cash lying around. Turns out, my mom was the one who fronted most of the money. And here I was thinking she was on a tight budget all this time.
When I confronted her, she straight up lied to my face. I asked about those four checks of $25K each made out to a home lender for my brother’s house. She claimed it was a loan that they paid back. But guess what? I checked her bank statements – no repayment in sight. It was a gift, not a loan.
I felt so betrayed. Here I am, supporting my mom, and she’s handing money out to my siblings. Sure, she doesn’t owe me anything, but I don’t owe her anything either. So, I told her she needs to start paying $1500 a month in rent. And let me tell you, that’s a steal considering the going rate in this area is way above 4K for a townhouse. She said she can’t afford it. I told her she can’t afford that while buying houses for everyone else. I even suggested moving to scorching Arizona. I don’t care anymore.
Response from THE MOVING DIARIES:
Hello There,
It’s disheartening to hear about the complex situation you are currently facing with your mother. It’s evident that you’ve provided her with a place to live out of love and concern for her well-being, only to discover that she has been financially supporting your brother’s home purchase behind the scenes. The lack of transparency in such matters can undoubtedly be hurtful and lead to feelings of betrayal and resentment. In this scenario, it seems crucial to address the issue transparently and objectively.
Given the circumstances, it may be beneficial to approach the matter calmly and rationally. While setting a reasonable monthly rent seems like a practical solution, it might also be worth having an open and honest conversation with your mother about your feelings and the financial strain it has put on you over the years. Expressing your concerns and boundaries in a respectful manner could help clarify expectations moving forward.
On the other hand, it’s essential to consider your mother’s financial constraints and limitations. It might be helpful to explore alternative solutions or compromises that could alleviate the financial burden on both parties. For instance, arranging a payment plan that fits within her budget or discussing potential contributions in other forms besides monetary rent could be options to consider.
Ultimately, finding a middle ground that acknowledges both your mother’s needs and your own financial responsibilities is crucial. It may be challenging, but approaching this situation with empathy and understanding could lead to a more constructive and harmonious resolution for all parties involved.
Best regards,
THE MOVING DIARIES
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