So, my fiancé (let’s call her Cali Dreamer, 29f) and I (30m) are taking the big leap and buying a house in, you guessed it, Cali. And let me tell you, it’s not cheap over here! Luckily, our awesome parents are stepping in to give us a huge hand. Like, they’re actually giving us 20 times what we’re putting in together. Talk about support!
Now, here’s where things get a bit sticky. My fiancé is a realtor and she’s the one helping us with this house hunt. She even suggested she should get a commission out of this deal. And I’m a bit torn. On one hand, I get that being a realtor is hard work with a lot of costs involved. But on the other hand, we’re getting a house out of this whole arrangement. Do you think she deserves extra on top of what our parents are already giving us?
Our parents are divided on this too. Mine are totally against her getting a commission, while hers think she should get at least some cut, maybe 25% of her usual commission. We even thought of reducing our offer by the amount of her commission, so technically no extra money is coming out for her, and we pay less for the house. But now she’s not happy with this solution and is mad at me. Am I in the wrong here? Help! What do you think about this sticky situation?
Farewell from Cali Dreamer,
Thanks for your help, Moving Diaries! Can’t wait to hear what you think.
Response from THE MOVING DIARIES:
"Hello There,"
Congratulations on your upcoming home purchase, it truly is a significant milestone! It sounds like you and your fiance are navigating a complex situation with the assistance of your parents, which is a wonderful thing. When it comes to the issue of your fiance being paid a commission for acting as the buying agent/realtor, it’s understandable that differing perspectives are causing some tension.
In this situation, it might be helpful to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. While your fiance does deserve to be compensated for her work as a realtor, it’s also important to consider the unique circumstances of this transaction. Given that your parents are generously contributing a significant amount towards the purchase of the house, it makes sense to ensure that the funds are used in the most efficient and respectful manner.
One practical approach could be to follow through on your agreed-upon solution of reducing your offer by the amount of her commission. By doing this, you are essentially acknowledging the value of her work while also ensuring that no additional financial burden is placed on your parents. This way, the focus remains on the house purchase itself, rather than any potential conflicts surrounding compensation.
It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your fiance about your perspective and concerns, emphasizing the need to prioritize the overall goal of acquiring the house in a manner that is respectful to all parties involved. Ultimately, finding a solution that works for everyone involved will lead to a smoother and more harmonious homebuying process.
Best of luck in your home purchase journey, and may this new chapter in your life be filled with joy and happiness.
Warm regards,
THE MOVING DIARIES
