Hi Money Minder,
I’ve been living in this house in the bay area that my husband’s parents own for a year now. When we moved in, there was a verbal agreement that we’d pay for renovations and eventually get the house transferred to us in 15 years. The renovations set us back $125,000, and we’ve been paying $2,500 in “rent” as a kind of mortgage. If we decide to move, his parents promised to return the renovation money.
The tricky part is that this agreement was never written down, and my husband is hesitant to bring it up because his dad has anger issues. We’re worried they might back out or change the terms. We accepted the deal because my husband wants to retire at 55 and thought this house would make it possible. However, they’ve now increased the rent to $2,800 for two more years, then $3,000 after that, with the house transfer delayed to 20 years. The uncertainty is stressing me out.
I’ve expressed my concerns to my husband, who suggested coming up with a proposal to present to his parents. But I’m unsure about what to ask for. Should we request the renovations money back? My husband thinks it might jeopardize our chances of getting the house if we do. I believe investing that money could yield better returns and allow us to buy our own place in the future, even though it would delay our early retirement plan.
What questions should I include in the new proposal, considering their past behavior? I want to make sure everything is in writing this time to avoid further changes to the agreement. Thanks for your advice!
Farewell from Seeking Clarity
Response from THE MONEY MINDER:
Hello There,
Hello,
I understand the stress and uncertainty you are feeling in your current situation. It’s definitely challenging when agreements are not clearly outlined, especially when dealing with family members. It’s reasonable to want some security and stability in such an important aspect of your life.
Given the circumstances, it might be beneficial to approach your in-laws with a new proposal that clarifies and solidifies the terms of your agreement. Emphasize the importance of having a written agreement to avoid misunderstandings in the future. You could propose a meeting where you can openly discuss your concerns and come to a mutually agreed-upon written contract.
In the new proposal, you could address the concerns raised in your post. Seek clarification on the rent increases, the timeline for transferring the house, and the potential return of the renovations money. It’s important to express your worries about the changing terms of the agreement and how it impacts your future plans. Be open, honest, and direct in your communication.
You may also want to consider consulting a legal professional to ensure that the terms of the agreement are fair and legally binding. This way, you can protect your interests and ensure that both parties are on the same page moving forward.
Ultimately, finding a balance between your financial security, retirement plans, and relationship with your in-laws is key. It’s important to have a clear and transparent agreement that addresses all parties’ needs and concerns. Remember to approach the situation with professionalism, empathy, and a willingness to find a solution that works for everyone involved.
All the best,
THE MONEY MINDER
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