December 21, 2024
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ESTATE PLANNING RETIREMENT

‘He said I was being an AH’: I asked my parents to leave out my stepdaughter from their will. Was I wrong?

‘He said I was being an AH’: I asked my parents to leave out my stepdaughter from their will. Was I wrong?

Hi Moving Diaries,

Hey there,

Lemme spill the tea real quick – I’m a 35-year-old mom with a set of 17-year-old twins (one boy, one girl) and a stepdaughter who’s 18. So, the other day, I was at my parent’s crib checking out some estate planning stuff since I’m the executor. When I looked through it, I saw that they split their assets evenly between me and my siblings, and then the remaining for the grandkids – even my stepdaughter. When I questioned them about it, they said they were just tryna be fair. The inheritance ain’t crazy big, but it’s a decent chunk of change (imagine a new whip).

I suggested to my folks that they split it between all 5 grandkids instead of just my stepdaughter. When we got back home, my hubby called me out for excluding his daughter and said I was wrong for it. I explained that since she’s the only kid on both sides of her fam, she’s basically set with family money. Her grandparents got property for days, her uncles are living large in an expensive area, and no cousins in sight. Plus, their family wealth is way more than mine. I asked my man if my kid was in line for his fam’s inheritance, but he dodged the question.

He still thinks I’m wrong for not looking out for his daughter. I believe I did the right thing by thinking of all the kids in the fam, not just one. Was I wrong?

Oh, also:

1- I didn’t force my fam to make changes, I just shared my opinion.

2- My mom plans on passing on some fancy family jewels to my stepdaughter, which is cool. Not my thing, but sweet nonetheless.

3- My parents don’t see my stepdaughter super often.

4- My niece and nephews don’t really have relationships with their bio dads, so I think they could benefit more from any inheritance, even if it’s small.

5- I found out that my stepdaughter is set to inherit some prime real estate in a major US city. That’s info I stumbled upon while organizing my hubby’s office. I didn’t ask him about it then, but now I wonder if there have been any updates to the will. My kids weren’t mentioned.

6- There’s some distance in the relationship with my stepdaughter, but it’s not really on me. When I first met her mom, she made it clear that I wasn’t her mom – which I totally respect. Our hangouts became less frequent over time, especially as she hit her teens. Plus, we were never included in any of her big celebrations. It’s hard to build a close bond when there’s hardly any contact, ya know?

Bottom line, I got love for the girl, but it’s tough to develop a solid relationship with someone you hardly see.

Later!

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